reflections
What do I say when there’s nothing left but a memory? A memory of the best expierence of my life. Where everytime I sleep, let alone close my eyes, all I can see is this beautiful country. A country which is a part of me and my past and of my history.
You know it’s a funny thing (sidetracking) because I used to live in Fresno, Ca for most of my childhood and no matter what I always had a sense of detachment, a feeling of “I don’t belong here”. When I was twelve we moved to So. Cal, and I thought my problem was solved. But there I was 2 years later, unsatisfyed. I would say to myself, “If not there, or here, then WHERE is it that I belong?”. And here I am now, after spending a month in my “Hyereneek”, I feel as though I’m begining to fulfill my question of belonging. For once in my life I felt like I belonged there. Despite the various miscommunication problems and a few unwanted judgements, I became attached.
I’m attached to this land my ancestors fought for, not the land that I learned about in my history books from high school. For some reason I feel like I have an obligation to make a difference. I want everyone to feel what I felt on my journey. And you won’t feel it by my words or by pictures; it’s only when you have stepped foot on the soil, saw the churches, talked to the people, and ate the food (real important), it is only then when one can say that they got a taste of Armenia.
Well…thats only part one. Because…what happens to the lives you affect in Armenia once you are gone, let alone, How did you affect the lives in Armenia when you were here?
These are the struggles we have all been faced with ever since we left that terminal at 3am on Tuesday morning. I haven’t had time to sit and be sad about what I left behind (I did plenty of that on the plane). I was just dreading coming back home to America, but I had to make the best out of a bad situation, so I became excited to tell people about my experiences. So far alot of people were surprised to hear me say so many good things..even a few managed to disagree with me, even after seeing the video. I feel sorry for those people, the people who refuse to change their minds, they are the ones who could have been benefiting the most.
My main objective is to help open the eyes of the ones who can’t see…and hopefully some of my excitement will rub off on the people I talk to, and then they can become what I became.
To all my fellow CYMA members, I know you guys all agree with me when I say this was one of the most memorable experiences of our lives, and I wouldn’t have picked a better group to experience it with. I love you guys and miss you very much. And to Armenia….ill be backkkkk.
Rita Manoukian
March 20th, 2006 at 4:54 am
hello…im armenian but live in england…and i miss Armenia sooooooooooooo much!